Saturday, December 17, 2005
Potential and Destiny
Saturday, a day to sleep in. I do, then write in my journal for over an hour. I finish a two week notebook, and realize that I've learned a lot in the past two weeks about focussing and potential.
But will I stay on a good track today?
That's my life's story, feeling lots of potential, but fluctuating in focus and will. I exercise for the full 20 minutes of DEWCMARF (that's my daily goals acronym, see the first blog entry). Suddenly I'm spontaneously singing to the tune of "You make me so very happy" by Blood Sweat and Tears, only the words are different to be silly and slightly disguised: "You make miso, from soybeans, you make tofu, from soybeans too." See, it's easier for me to channel satire, I've still got that ego layer that wants some emotional distance from the message (for distancing is why dreams can be frustratingly disguised in so much symbolism, but as you mature in doing your potential you get clearer deams and even direct conversations with spirit guides). Plus humor helps the medicine go down. After singing the song and crediting my cleverness (I could sell jingles to whole food stores! no wait, I don't want to sell jingles to whole food stores) then I realize, ah that wasn't just me, that was my spirit singing, and the original words are about how I've made myself so happy and entered more into my life, just by doing my daily exercise goal!
So I'm hopeful to stay on a good track today.
Maybe it's because I'm 42. That's why I'm picking up in focus and experiencing more destiny. I know there's that Douglas Adams satire "Life the Universe and Everything" in which the answer to the meaning of life is 42. That's not what I mean, though Mr. Adams' frenetic imagination probably often tapped into deeper truths.
I mean 42 as in 6 times 7. I believe that life proceeds in cycles of seven years. I didn't say it first, but I've observed it to be true enough to work with. Life isn't meant to be stressful, it's supposed to be easily progressive. But people push each other to act older than they're ready, and then they react younger then they should, and that's why so many people never grow up and remain confused, non-present, and non-actualized. But to recap in my own words, I think a good life goes roughly like this:
0-7 years: dependency and first growth, not expected to be very responsible or even self-aware (childhood play and needs)
7-14 years: growing into an adult's body with a child's mind, imitation and group identification (high school, puberty)
14-21 years: learning about the world, preparing for life on your own (college and moving out, working)
21-28 years: experimentation and travel (variety in relationships and jobs)
28-35 years: discovering preferences and expressing identity (talents and hobbies, best relationships)
35-42 years: building your unique life (settling down, marriage, home)
42-49 years: applying your potentials (self-confidence, talents, second careers, midlife crises if off-track)
49-56 years: wisdom in action (not sure best way to say it yet... probably spiritual actualizations...)
I turned 42 a little before Halloween this year, so I looked to that time for turning point (the pagan new year, when the spirit and material worlds are bridged). Not that I've been particularly off-track in life thus far, but you know how you can watch the years go by in the lackluster of someday-whens and if-onlys. I find the trick is to keep lists of goals and options that balance your life needs and talents (exercise, relationships including time with the self, job, finances, eat light, sleep well, dream well). Especially include the sore points, those things you've been putting off. And then chip away every day. You'll know you're on track if you experience initial frustrations and resistances, then increasing well-being and more rapid successes (or at least instructive failures).
Plus amazing dreams.
I've had certain recurring dream characters and locations for much of my life. But I've usually romanticized them and begged them to fix my life for me. There's the dark-haired woman and the light-haired woman. There's a blond guy like me. There's a chinese lady who may be the dark-haired woman. There's parents and family, there's high school, there's my hometown, there's grandma's place. What do they all mean? I try to map them together by personality more than appearance, because faces change more than function in dreams. But decades later and I'm still mostly dreaming I'm in my childhood town.
But in the past few weeks, and in parallel with how much I do or don't succeed in a well-rounded focus for the day, I've been having perfectly sequential dreams of meeting the old characters in the old places, now talking with them, finding out who they are, and when we're done, leaving the old places forever. One night I cried because I was moving out of my parents house forever. Another night I went with the dark-haired woman to her fantastic home planet, where she's a playwright like me. Another night, the light-haired woman and I attended an old souls seminar, where there were lectures on past lives and soul stages. I did my keep-on-truckin' glide there, which was fun - I usually can't fly in dreams, but I can lean back and glide without walking, so believably that I wake up and am surprised that I can't do it here in the physical.
Anyway, I say these things to share my taste of what it is like to track life and its meaning for the intention of increasingly focussing potential and destiny. Life just seems to be very participatory. I can't complain that it isn't there for me as long as I'm not there for it. When I committed to relationships years ago, I found good partners leading to my present soul-mate wife. When I committed to the day job, I found the best one to enjoy. And so on.
This month, I fully committed to writing a movie review every day for my movie reviews website - before that, I'd been on-again off-again. This week I get unprecedented feedback with not one but two directors emailing me about how much they appreciated the reviews: Carlos Atanes in direct response to my new post for his film "FAQ", and a few days later out of the blue, filmmaker Paul Yates, friend of the musician Moby, finds my older post for his short "Space Water Onion". Paul likens his works to messages in bottles tossed into the world, and he was so excited at how much I'd gotten this one that he sent me a new script to review. So technically I'm now a script consultant! This is an energy boost for my own story and screenwriting career, which is still on-again off-again, but when I fully commit I'm gonna soar (I've had a lot of dreams showing me this, along with reminders to write every day).
I'm glad I wrote this blog entry, to better sandwich the last one which was more moody and reactive (about politics). Such is life, rich with ups and downs, but if you ever again pick yourself back up then you will find your way. There is a way, there is a plan, for everyone, that much I do believe. In fact, when I committed myself to that belief years ago, things started to get way way better.
your friend with another message in a bottle,
Carl
But will I stay on a good track today?
That's my life's story, feeling lots of potential, but fluctuating in focus and will. I exercise for the full 20 minutes of DEWCMARF (that's my daily goals acronym, see the first blog entry). Suddenly I'm spontaneously singing to the tune of "You make me so very happy" by Blood Sweat and Tears, only the words are different to be silly and slightly disguised: "You make miso, from soybeans, you make tofu, from soybeans too." See, it's easier for me to channel satire, I've still got that ego layer that wants some emotional distance from the message (for distancing is why dreams can be frustratingly disguised in so much symbolism, but as you mature in doing your potential you get clearer deams and even direct conversations with spirit guides). Plus humor helps the medicine go down. After singing the song and crediting my cleverness (I could sell jingles to whole food stores! no wait, I don't want to sell jingles to whole food stores) then I realize, ah that wasn't just me, that was my spirit singing, and the original words are about how I've made myself so happy and entered more into my life, just by doing my daily exercise goal!
So I'm hopeful to stay on a good track today.
Maybe it's because I'm 42. That's why I'm picking up in focus and experiencing more destiny. I know there's that Douglas Adams satire "Life the Universe and Everything" in which the answer to the meaning of life is 42. That's not what I mean, though Mr. Adams' frenetic imagination probably often tapped into deeper truths.
I mean 42 as in 6 times 7. I believe that life proceeds in cycles of seven years. I didn't say it first, but I've observed it to be true enough to work with. Life isn't meant to be stressful, it's supposed to be easily progressive. But people push each other to act older than they're ready, and then they react younger then they should, and that's why so many people never grow up and remain confused, non-present, and non-actualized. But to recap in my own words, I think a good life goes roughly like this:
0-7 years: dependency and first growth, not expected to be very responsible or even self-aware (childhood play and needs)
7-14 years: growing into an adult's body with a child's mind, imitation and group identification (high school, puberty)
14-21 years: learning about the world, preparing for life on your own (college and moving out, working)
21-28 years: experimentation and travel (variety in relationships and jobs)
28-35 years: discovering preferences and expressing identity (talents and hobbies, best relationships)
35-42 years: building your unique life (settling down, marriage, home)
42-49 years: applying your potentials (self-confidence, talents, second careers, midlife crises if off-track)
49-56 years: wisdom in action (not sure best way to say it yet... probably spiritual actualizations...)
I turned 42 a little before Halloween this year, so I looked to that time for turning point (the pagan new year, when the spirit and material worlds are bridged). Not that I've been particularly off-track in life thus far, but you know how you can watch the years go by in the lackluster of someday-whens and if-onlys. I find the trick is to keep lists of goals and options that balance your life needs and talents (exercise, relationships including time with the self, job, finances, eat light, sleep well, dream well). Especially include the sore points, those things you've been putting off. And then chip away every day. You'll know you're on track if you experience initial frustrations and resistances, then increasing well-being and more rapid successes (or at least instructive failures).
Plus amazing dreams.
I've had certain recurring dream characters and locations for much of my life. But I've usually romanticized them and begged them to fix my life for me. There's the dark-haired woman and the light-haired woman. There's a blond guy like me. There's a chinese lady who may be the dark-haired woman. There's parents and family, there's high school, there's my hometown, there's grandma's place. What do they all mean? I try to map them together by personality more than appearance, because faces change more than function in dreams. But decades later and I'm still mostly dreaming I'm in my childhood town.
But in the past few weeks, and in parallel with how much I do or don't succeed in a well-rounded focus for the day, I've been having perfectly sequential dreams of meeting the old characters in the old places, now talking with them, finding out who they are, and when we're done, leaving the old places forever. One night I cried because I was moving out of my parents house forever. Another night I went with the dark-haired woman to her fantastic home planet, where she's a playwright like me. Another night, the light-haired woman and I attended an old souls seminar, where there were lectures on past lives and soul stages. I did my keep-on-truckin' glide there, which was fun - I usually can't fly in dreams, but I can lean back and glide without walking, so believably that I wake up and am surprised that I can't do it here in the physical.
Anyway, I say these things to share my taste of what it is like to track life and its meaning for the intention of increasingly focussing potential and destiny. Life just seems to be very participatory. I can't complain that it isn't there for me as long as I'm not there for it. When I committed to relationships years ago, I found good partners leading to my present soul-mate wife. When I committed to the day job, I found the best one to enjoy. And so on.
This month, I fully committed to writing a movie review every day for my movie reviews website - before that, I'd been on-again off-again. This week I get unprecedented feedback with not one but two directors emailing me about how much they appreciated the reviews: Carlos Atanes in direct response to my new post for his film "FAQ", and a few days later out of the blue, filmmaker Paul Yates, friend of the musician Moby, finds my older post for his short "Space Water Onion". Paul likens his works to messages in bottles tossed into the world, and he was so excited at how much I'd gotten this one that he sent me a new script to review. So technically I'm now a script consultant! This is an energy boost for my own story and screenwriting career, which is still on-again off-again, but when I fully commit I'm gonna soar (I've had a lot of dreams showing me this, along with reminders to write every day).
I'm glad I wrote this blog entry, to better sandwich the last one which was more moody and reactive (about politics). Such is life, rich with ups and downs, but if you ever again pick yourself back up then you will find your way. There is a way, there is a plan, for everyone, that much I do believe. In fact, when I committed myself to that belief years ago, things started to get way way better.
your friend with another message in a bottle,
Carl
